A Sucessful Diet Is One You Own

When I am on a diet I know you mean well - but it’s destructive when you say “Should you be eating that?  Is that part of your diet”?  Even though you mean well, you have just tried to take control of my diet and now the food you are asking about has not only become forbidden but now I feel guilty and I start to become afraid to eat anything in front of other people. I know this sounds tough for you to understand but bear with me and let’s see if I can help you understand

I took control of my life and decided I did not want to be overweight any more. And I decided for no one but me.  So I joined  Weight Watchers online and started to learn about portions. I can have anything I want as long as I don’t go over my points ( a system used by Weight Watchers). I started the diet and no one knew but me. My husband figured it out rather quickly when I was buying special frozen food – one hundred calorie packs of chips, cookies, and yes, even chocolate.

My husband meant well and started saying things like “I feel bad eating this hot dog in front of you now that you are on your diet”.  I told him, “I own my diet. I know what I can and can not do. So don’t feel quilty because if I want a hot dog I will have one”. 

Well I lost 20 lbs. and no one but my husband and my daughter knew. (my daughter started the same diet and we supported each other by calling and saying “I weighed myself and lost another 1/2 lb.” and the other would say “Good for you”.  Then we would share items we found that contained low points in them that we could eat.

It was great.

Well the outside world noticed that I was getting thinner. So people at work were asking me if I had lost some weight and of course I said “Yes I have and thank you for noticing.”  It was wonderful and I felt soooo in control.

THEN IT STARTED!

My husband would see me eating a Twinkie and ask me, “Should you be eating that?”  People at work would see me eating a cookie and say, “Is that on your diet? Are you supposed to be eating that?:  My director even went as far as saying when she saw me eating a plain doughnut delivered by one of our drug reps (I work in a Dr’s. Clinic).  Anyway, she came up to me and said ” Are you eating that?  You’re my idol, you have done so well.  Don’t blow it.”

Needless to say, I have gained 5 lbs.  I kept asking myself “Why? I was doing so good.  What happened?”

Well, here is the answer.  I’m angry!  Thats right, I’m angry… not at myself - but at everyone who is trying to control my darn diet.  Again I know you mean well but STOP!!!  I own my diet.  Not you!  I eat what I know I can.  I know how my diet works.  Not you!  I don’t want to feel like I have let you down.  I also don’t want to feel guilty.  Stop worrying about what I am eating and instead look at what you are eating.  I own my diet! Asking me if I should be eating that only makes me feel like I am doing something wrong and makes me feel like I have to hide what I eat. Now I am eating out of pure 100% defiance.  Thats right!  I will show you.  I can eat whatever I want and you can’t stop me…ha, ha, ha! (wicked laughter).  I now feel like all eyes are watching what the heck I am eating.  (Get a life of your own please.)  My diet is my own private personal thing.  Don’t take that away from me.  It is okay to say that you notice my weight loss.  It is okay to ask me how I am doing it.  But… if you see me eating a doughnut or a piece of chocolate cake mind your own business.  I don’t walk up to you and say “Should you be eating that 3rd piece of cake”?  It’s your business - not mine!  Let me worry about what I am eating and you worry about what you are eating.  I feel sorry for those people whose lives are so boring that they have to watch what I am eating.

I know I sound angry and I am. I have always wondered why I would start to lose weight and as soon as I would be losing I would go pig out somewhere.  Well now I know.  It is because when I start to lose weight people stop looking at me and start watching what I eat.

That my friends, makes me feel really uncomfortable!

So to wrap this up… when someone is trying to lose weight, the best way to support them is “Let them own it”!  Notice that they are losing weight and let them know that they are looking good - not, “Sooo how much weight have you lost?”  When they are gaining weight do you walk up to them and say, “Sooo how much weight have you gained?”.   Please, let them own it.  You can still take them out to dinner (anywhere). They are watching what they eat.  They can handle it.  Husbands - buy your wife, girlfriend or daughter roses when you see that they are losing weight and just let them know how beautiful they are… NOT “Congratulations on losing 20 lbs.”  or “Can’t wait to see how you look when you lose 50 more pounds.”

Be supportive and let them own their weight loss.  Wives, if your husbands are trying to lose weight and you are cooking dinner let him get his own servings.  Don’t put a carrot, a celery stalk and a piece of melba toast on his plate – then sit down with the family with steak and potatos.  He owns his diet so let him own it.  Let him eat what he knows he can have.

Ok – I have vented long enough.  I just want to end with this note.  Obesity is becoming one of America’s largest problems.  With all the diets out there, all of the fitness centers, diet pills, books and yes, doctors why then are we still having this massive problem? Because we don’t own our diets. Everybody else is taking that ownership away.  Doctors, friends, family, co-workers, diet centers and anyone else that I have left out – STOP IT!  Let people own their own weight. I think there is way too much pressure and not enough praise without guilt.

So please, The next time you see me walking down the street, stop  and just say ” You look great!” -not, “Should you be eating that candy bar?”

A successful diet is one you own!

Thank you and by the way - ”You look Great!’ 

Karen